Confessions

So I was inspired to do this post by another blogger.  I mean the truth can only set me free right?!

Here are my confessions:

1. I am tired of being the biggest girl in my group of friends, classmates, coworkers, and family
2. When I am working out I imagine me at a healthier weight and shocking everyone back at home who talked about me picking up weight since high school
3. The word Fat cuts me everytime I here someone say it and I always wonder what type of things they say about me behind closed doors
4. I yo-yoed my whole life and I have clothes to prove it (I have clothes ranging from size 8-22)
5. I use to take water pills and other diet pills to lose my weight
6. One summer all I ate was baked potatoes and salad to lose weight
7. Its a struggle for me to eat fruits in my daily routine
8. When I am working out, I am nervous that my boobs may hit me in my eye (lol)
9. I have a true addiction to food and I can be mean/moody when I don't eat or when people mess with my food without asking
10. I don't like to try on clothes in the dressing room because I am scared of how the clothes look on me
11. I can't stand going shopping with some of my friends because I cannot buy anything but accessories in most of the stores
12. This is my 3rd time doing Weight Watchers
13. I use to think that being skinner meant that I would be able to get a Man
14. I don't like to look at myself in the mirror when I am getting dressed
15. I think I am falling in love with working out but I am very nervous/scared that I will fall off track (and I really don't want to)
16. Weight Watchers has truly allowed me to change my mindset on alot of things
17. I took a body image class to teach myself how to love my body no matter what
18. I feel like I am really in charge of my body and I am loving every minute of it
19. I am addicted to signing up for 5ks
20. The weekends for me are horrible eating wise and I really want to stick to my plan
21. I dislike events that have food provided because I always binge

I feel like I have alot but that is just a sneak peek into my life and weight loss

Body Shots

This was me during winter break when I was at home.... 253.6lbs of me

This is me now (sorry if the pics are bad) 226.6lbs of me.

What do you think?  Can you tell any differences?

Cafe Blackadder

My friend Kelly and I had a little date day and we tried a new restaurant here in Warrensburg (Cafe Blackadder).  Oh was it good!!!!  It was so good that I forgot to take pictures of our sandwiches and soup but I do have pics of the cucumber water and the lovely dessert.

The food was sooooooooo good and light.  I did not want my food to end!  The lady changes her menu almost everyday to have something new and refreshing on it.  Kelly and I decided to go again before we graduate and I promise to take pics of our entrees.  In the mean time here are the pics that I did remember to take.

Check out their website: Cafe Blackadder

Thats my lovely friend Kelly!  Isn't she cute?!  The background is the cafe.  Its so pretty, relaxing and hip!  I think next time I come I'm going to sit on the bar stools lol

This was our cucumber water.  You should try it some time.

This was our dessert we had.  It was a banana cake and it was beyond delicious and I don't even like banana flavored things.

So if you are ever in Warrensburg, Missouri I suggest you check this lovely place out.

My first time grilling fish!!!!

Doesn't it look good?!  Well it smells good.  Yesterday I went to the grocery store and bought all types of spices and decided to cook the tilapia I had in my freezer.  The spices I used for this batch was herbs, garlic, and wine (it was a packet).  I put it on my George Foreman grill and now its in my fridge because I am bout to go to my aerobics class but I can't wait to eat some of it for dinner!!!!!  I will give you my review of it and the points after I come back.

Ok my tilapia was banging!!!!! And it was only 2 points!!!!! Holler! I am so proud of myself for making it.


I tried a new fitness class today and man oh man am I tried.  I have concluded that all fitness instructors are crazy!!!!!  He had us run up and down the stairs like 12 times while carrying weights and that was just the beginning of the workout.  Though I struggled throughout the class, I will be there again on Friday.

Check out the good news!!!!

Sorry my voice is delayed

Sometimes we just have to pamper ourselves......

You know you like my new picture!!!!!  So I went to a spa program that a resident put on and it was so soothing and fun.  She made a facial mask out of natural products and you know I had to try it out. LOL well it was wonderful and my skin felt so smooth after I washed my face.

Here is the Recipe:

"Best Facial Mask to Smooth the Skin"

Ingredients:

Banana (over-ripe).....1/2
Avacado (over-ripe)....1/2
Cucumber (chopped)....1 TBSP.
Yogurt....1 TBSP
Olive Oil....1 TBSP

(I usually triple the recipe when doing for a group of people.)

Method:

Mix all the ingredients and process them in a blender.
Apply a thick layer and leave for 30 min.
Wash with lukewarm water, then splash with cold water.

Crockpot Mexican Chicken

So my goal for myself is to try new recipes that are Weight Watcher Friendly. So I decided to try this crockpot recipe. And let me tell you it is so delicious!!!! I am a little proud of myself because I really do not cook but I think this came out wonderful. If you try it out please let me know. Oh I also try the chicken on some whole wheat pasta (3 points) and thin wheat bread (1 point).

Crockpot Mexican Chicken
4 servings @ 4 points each

4 boneless chicken breasts
3 cups salsa
1 cup FF sour cream
1 pkg. chicken taco seasoning

Place chicken in crockpot. Mix together salsa, sour cream, and taco seasoning. Pour mixture over the chicken. Cook on low 6 hours. Take 2 forks and shred the chicken in the crockpot. Wrap in a FF tortilla with lettuce, tomato and FF cheese. Add points for tortilla and toppings.

Looking good and feeling great!

Sad day at weight watchers today ;'(

Phenomenal Woman

By Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Encouragement on weight loss journey

So I will be doing my youtube video later (have a very busy day today). But until then I wanted to post this bible verse my friend gave me for encouragement.

Matthew 7:24-27

24"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

In my earlier posts I talked about how I am trying to be healthy to continue my purpose God has for me. I know everything I do is to glorify Him even my exercising and my weight loss journey. This parable that Jesus talks about truly makes me think about how we need to build a strong foundation in everything we do. My whole life I have been trying to find quick fixes for my weight loss. Though I have been able to lose it but was it healthy?! No it wasn't! I truly believe Weight Watchers is helping me to build my foundation to live a healthier life style. Not only am I making wise choices but I am learning how to live-it whether than diet. With this foundation that I am building on a rock when the wind comes (temptation, loss of self motivation, busyness) my house will be strong enough to with stand it. Keeping my eye on the goal, prayer in my heart, and Jesus on my team! I can and will be healthier even if its slowly but surely.

Weight Watchers week 5

I have been natural for a year and a day lol!!!!!!

Look at my before and after pics!!!!!!! Amazing! I am so happy and my hair is so beautiful!!! This has been a learning experience for me and I loved every minute of it!

Accessories make the outfit!

So I just got hip to this website Etsy Let me tell you it is amazing!!!!!!!

It is a website for people to sell their handmade items. I fell in love with it the minute I discovered the website.

I have found some shirts and dresses that are so adorable! But wait this is not the reason why I started this post lol. Just recently I found out that my friend designs and makes accessories!!!! Amazing, I know! In my opinion accessories truly make up the outfit. I mean come on, you know when you put on some FABULOUS earrings it just make you look so DIVA! Plus if you are rocking the natural look, you are always trying to find some earrings that will make your style even more WONDERFUL! Well my friend's work is DA BOMB! All of you have to check her work out. Not only does she do a great job but she is such a sweet heart. Check out her products here:

Sweet and Spicy

Tell me what you think!

A F.A.T. Girl is tired of shopping at Lane Bryant.... I am bout to switch my style up!

That's right I'm F.A.T.- Fabulous and Thick! And I am frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!! I absolutely love to go shopping and puting different outfits together. But with my size its been kind of difficult for me to do this especially living in a Midwest town where the biggest thing is Walmart. I am not knocking Walmart or anything because I have seen quite a few cute things for thick divas at Walmart. But the Walmart near me does not have any cute choices for me. So I have to go shopping online to find some cute clothes for myself...... But that gets so freaking expensive and I have to wait such a long time.

Ok I kind of went off on a tangent but anyways back to my real frustration. I went to Lane Bryant the other day because I needed a some new jeans. And I decided to splurge a little on myself while I was there. So this is how I shop: I walk into the store walk around a little and look at everything. If something stands out I grab and it and try it on. Well yesterday was truly interesting. I went into LB and was walking around and everything in there was not my style at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was all clothes that would make me look way older than what I am. I mean dang I already look older because of my weight so I am not trying to put on clothes that would add more years to me. There were 2 things (yes only 2) that I would actually buy. That is just sad!!!!!!!!!!! I am not going to say that I am giving up on LB but I have decided to take a step back from it. Not only is it expensive but it really doesn't have a variety of choices for a 20 something DIVA like myself.

I have started "researching" different stores, boutiques, and things that are geared to Thick ladies like myself and I am so happy that I did. I realized there are other choices for myself other than Old Navy, Lane Bryant, and Torrid. I am about to go on an online shopping spree when I get paid. Now that I know my body shape, I can start buying different clothes that will look FABULOUS on my body!!!!!!


Sidenote: So last night I sent my exboyfriend a text apologizing for any hurt I caused him while we were together. I have no idea why I did this but I kind of wish that I didn't. Don't you hate that?! When you do something and then later you wish you hadn't. Well anyways he sent me a text back today and said something (I choose not to read it lol) But I sent another one back telling him that he doesn't have to worry about hearing from me again and I wished him and his girl well. Ugh, I just wish I could just delete his number from my mind. I just don't understand why I am always lingering onto the past knowing that I am so much better than that. I truly think God is testing me on my contentment of being single and right now I am failing horribly!!!!!!!! I really need to take the time out and break all the soul ties that have in my life because they are not helping me to love Jesus w/all of my heart. They are just really holding me back........ I am praying about all of this and I know God will allow me to have a breakthrough in this situation.

Don't Even Know lol

So I wanted to write a new blog but I didn't know what to name it lol. Anyways, I wanted to share with you all some things that people have told me these past couple of weeks that I thought was interesting..................



So I have been/WAS talking to this guy for a minute kind of.... It was to the point where he told me I was wifey material (ladies just because he say this doesn't mean anything at all because I have had PLENTY of boys tell me I was wifey but I am still single because NONE of them was husband material through my eyes and God's).



Ok back to the story: So I told ole boy that I cut all of my hair off and have been natural for about 4 months. He said he was curious to see how I look now, so I sent him a picture (this is where everything went down hill lol). So asked him to be honest about what he thought about my picture. He said it was "different and it is something to get use to" Ok cool I understand that but he kept going!!!!! He gonna tel me "Don't worry your hair will grow back" EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!! I am not worried whether or not my hair is going to grow back, I mean it will be nice for my hair to grow back but right now I am embracing my natural beauty, the beauty that God has blessed me with! If I am suppose to be wifey shouldn't you appreciate me outside and in no matter what?!



I just don't understand why society is so on the way people look. We are so quick to judge one another based on our looks then anything else. I mean the most "fly" person in the world can have a horrible attitude/personality but you rather be with that person because they have sex appeal?! All I have to say is "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised." (Proverbs 31:30)



Ok so the other day I met this girl who seemed really cool and everything. She came by the halls to say goodbye to all of her friends before she left for Turkey to go teach. I was interested in her teaching job that she got in Turkey (cause you know I am trying to move abroad and work some day). She was saying how good this job was how they were paying for her flight and if she didn't like it they would fly her back to the US for free and all this other stuff. I was thinking wow this is the job! So I asked her how did she find out about this amazing opportunity. Why in the world this girl told me that she found it on CRAIG'S LIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man when she told me that I just pray that I didn't have a look on my face because in my mind I was thinking that she was crazy!!!!!! Why in the world would you fly across the world to a job that you don't know that much about that you found on freaking Craig's list. Well I'm going to pray for her because who knows what she has gotten herself into.

Now this is my last crazy/random story that I have for you all. So as all of you know I am natural and loving every minute of it. Right now my hair is so short that I cannot do any styles to it but a TWA. So sometimes I get bored with my hair. So I have been looking for products that will enhance my natural curls so they can POP! Well yesterday I went to bible study and met this girl who was natural as well and her curls were POPPING!!!! So I asked her what products could I use to enhance my curls (and this girl does hair so I was thinking she would know what she is talking about). Why did she tell me to put a perm in my head for a little bit and to loosen up my curls?! I AM NOT PUTTING ANY PERMS IN MY HEAD! If I wanted to do all of that, why did I cut my hair. She gave me another product to use but I highly doubt I'm gonna use that. Goodness I am turning away from chemicals, not welcoming them back into my beautiful hair. So I guess I will continue to rock my TWA until further notice lol

Do you love MARY KAY?! Well I am a consultant now!

Just letting all my fabulous followers out there know that I am now a Mary Kay consultant. So if you are looking for someone to place your orders, schedule facial parties for you and your friends, or just want to play around with some make up LOOK ME UP!!!!

I would love to help you to embrace your inner DIVA by providing some helpful tips about skin care,make up, and just making you feel FABULOUS!

I believe this is another opportunity for me to touch other people's lives and also to help me to build more confidence and encouragement for myself.

To all the men out there don't be afraid to contact me either! I would love to do a men's facial class with our men's products.

If you want to look at our products, do a virtual makeover, or place an order go to my website at www.marykay.com/hshepherd176

Essence of a Black Woman

You can see the essence of a black woman when she walks into a room.
Her beauty is like a flower that blooms.
She doesn't need a man to be strong,
Because she remains a woman all on her own.
She overcomes challenges that stands in her way.
The inner strength she has gets her through the day.
She continues to triumph with elegance and grace.
While being a double jeopardy because of her sex and her race.
She is a goal oriented woman with style and confidence.
She never forgets where she comes from and for that she is blessed.
She has faith in God and not ashamed to acknowledge his presence in her life.
She can testify that without him she could never endure any sacrifice.
This black woman of beauty is the mother of all.
And for that we should be proud and stand tall.
Everyone around her can feel her presence.
For she is a Black woman of essence.
~ Kathy L. Martin

Saved & Single

I need to read this everyday when I am feeling lonely and wondering if I will be found by my husband that GOD will send for me......


~ Author Unknown~

What makes you think that just because I am an attractive woman of Godly intelligence

that I'm incomplete without a mate?

Who told you that without a man

something's missing from my life?

and if so, what would that be?

Love?

I love myself

And more importantlyI love the Lord

He told me that when I delight in Him,

he will give me the desires of my heart

Security?

I have everything I need according to His riches in glory.

Intimacy?

Now, how's a man going to get to know me

When he doesn't even know who he is in the Lord

See my Father told me I'm above a ruby's worth

And a gem does not seek it is sought

I'm single and that's all right with me

See, it's not that I oppose relationships

it's that I detest co-dependency

as a woman I know it is not my role
to chase after any man

Esther 2:14 reads That I am to wait on my king and when he's delighted in me. He will call me by my name.

My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate.

I am to be Cherished, Relished, Valued, and Honored,

It's not my job to convince him

Or Convict him of that,

My mate will already know it

And consistently show it

And he will stay on his knees daily

Not just to adore me

But to praise the Lord for

The virtuous woman he has found

So, when you see me by myself

I'm not aloneI know what I have coming to me

I'm single and saved, and right now that's all I need to be!

My Bucket List!!!!!!

Here are some things I wanna do in my lifetime:

• go sky diving
• live on the west coast (either Seattle or San Fran)
• white water rafting
• visit every state
• live in London, England (for 3months- year)
• live in Mexico(to learn Spanish lol)
• get my PhD (not right away)
• become a mini van mom (I am really excited about this but only if God is willing)
• run a mile (right now run is not in my vocab)
• get my masters in:

-Counseling

-Teaching (math maybe)

-College Student Personnel Administration (coming in May 2010)

• work at an HBCU
• work in Orientation(or work with)
• design a program that will solve the problem of the revolving door for all minorities in college
• become director of Multicultural Affairs at a university (still deciding about my career path)
• teach a college class (might be doing this, this fall)
• become a fitness instructor (either step or zumba)
• start a scholarship for phenomenal women @ Maple Heights High School
• become a cheerleader coach
• visit:

-Madrid, Spain

-Paris

-Italy

-Kenya(use my Kiswahili)

-just basically travel the world

• teach an algebra class
• take up ballroom dancing
• go on the Disney cruise
• go camping(need to find some friends for this one because I am too much of a chicken to go by myself)
• go backpacking
• take a self defense class
• take 5 cycling classes (I am scared its going to hurt my booty)
• touch or inspire one person